Asia  2000

 (Thailand & Bali)

This trip, my eighth to Asia, star ted out on the island of Phuket , Thailand . After 20 long hours of travel and only a couple of hours sleep in the last 48 hrs, I arrived in the town of Patong at 1:30 pm.  

As I check into a my hotel, I learned that a weekly Harrier Hash run was taking place at 3 p.m. Although common sense would suggest a little sleep, my passion for running took over, and I opt for the run. With my droopy eyelids at half mast, I joined a group of other runners at the Expat Hotel, and jumped into the back of a battered old truck for an hour long drive up to the mountains to start the run.  

A Hash run is an interesting phenomena where the day before, a "Hare" lays a series of trails with bits of paper at 30' to 50' intervals, and includes false dead end trails, loops, and other treachery intended to confuse and throw the runners off. When a runner picks up a lost trail they yell "On On" signaling the group to follow, until it's lost again!  

The run was interesting, through rubber tree forests, mud, streams, and a humid 35 degrees. Also, there were lots of vines and roots to stumble over, while trying to keep one eye on the 'trail' and the other on the lookout for snakes seen in the area.  

Of the sixty runners, I was one of the luckier ones, and found my way back to the truck after about an hour and a half later - scrapped, tired and dehydra ted . Oh boy, what fun! I can't remember when cold beer tas ted so good! After the run, when all are back and accoun ted for a "circle" is formed where interesting rituals are performed, including sitting bare-ass on a huge block of ice. Also at this time the Grand Master, while severely berating everybody, hands out different punishments for offences allegedly commit ted during the run.  

Fortunately, most of the punishments consist of different styles of chug-a-lugging beer. After all, the Hash House Harriers are a self-described 'Bunch of Drinkers With a Running Problem'! Just before dusk, we jumped back in the derelict old truck, where we popped a few more brewski's and sang silly songs on the way back into town. A most memorable first day in Thailand !  

Patong, is one ugly place that I would highly un-recommend to anybody . Hookers and cheap bars everywhere. Within a half a kilometer radius there are 152 bars! One day there was more than enough, and I decided to catch a boat to Phi Phi Island .  

A nice trip with gentle breezes and flying fish skipping along beside the ferry. Although a little touristy, it is truly one of the most spectacular island groups in the world. Towering limestone cliffs, shimmering turquoise seas, and pristine white sand beaches. Oh yes, did I mention the beaches are topless? (not that I'm looking!)  

The are no cars or motorcycles roads on this small island and it's quite basic, with electricity supplied be generators. Temperatures are in the high 30's every day and almost no rain. Found a nice little bungalow called Charlie's - near the beach. The heat is almost too hot, even for an old sun vulture like me. Running every day on the beach and swimming in the warm and inviting sea. The massages are fabu lou s - as is the food. Wonderful exotic dishes laced with pungent aromas of lemon grass, coconut, spices etc. - and eaten on the beach under the palm trees. The seafood is fresh, the beer cold, and gentle music plays in the background. Life is good and I'm happy as a clam at high tide!  

Tearing myself away from my self imposed treadmill on Phi Phi, I took a boat south to the Island of Ko Lanta . The sun was 48 degrees - yikes! The food wasn't much to my liking, and I think you have a much better chance of seeing a polar bear than getting decent table service here! This was a no-brainer - I jumped the next boat to Krabi - a picturesque river town on the mainland.  

Strolling about Krabi town, I burst into a grin more lop-sided than a Cuban election when, by chance, I stumbled across a shop selling rum! Needless to say the rest of the day was a bit of a blur - but I do remember helping a Thai guy with his English lessons, a great pizza, and a bad haircut!  

One morning while out running, I stopped beside the river to watch the sunrise. In the river below, I watched some fish swimming towards the land, when all of a sudden, one of them came out of the water, and walked - yes, walked up the muddy river bank! VERY strange. Hell, maybe it's the rum or the sun - or both!!!  

Krabi will also be remembered for the D.B.T.W. (Double Big Toe Wipeout). While staying at the KR Mansion Hotel, I pulled another boner. One night, while trying to get at a cold bottle of water, I knocked a full beer off the top shelf which landing right on my big toe nail, turning it black. At the same time the bottle shattered and a shard of glass imbedded itself in my other big toe. Some days you 're the windshield, and some days you're the bug! When the girl at the desk heard the commotion and saw my state, she ran down the street and came back with a bandage 'in tow' for me - a nice gesture for a clumsy "Farang".  

From Krabi, I also went by tuk-tuk and motorcycle out to Wat Tam Sua - a large temple hewn onto a mountainside with a forest meditation walk and a 300 meter stairway (1,232 steps) up to a Buddha footprint and a magnificent view of the area. Another day was spent meandering by long-tail boat through the mangrove swamps - the habitat for the abundant and colorful bird life, and some caving in the picturesque limestone carsts.  

After several days I was getting a little bored, so headed off to the Surat Thani province, where I was anything BUT bored over the next 4 days. The mini-bus dropped me off at his last stop on the highway, and from there I hitchhiked the remaining 40 km to the entrance to the Khao Sok Rain Forest . The heat and humidity were awesome, and reminded me a great deal of my time spent in the Amazon. I spent 4 days in the jungle with my accommodation being a tree house. Very basic with no flush toilets, or electricity - only a small candle for light. However, what it lacked in amenities, was certainly made up for in ambiance. It opened on all four sides, looking out directly into the tree tops, with a river running directly below it. Incredibly dense and lush terrain in every conceivable shade of green.  

A magical forest, with gibbon songs echoing in the morning mist. One day, I decided to do a solo trek into the rain forest. Without the aid of a guide, this turned into quite an adventure, as I was hiking for over six hours! WOW, this primitive environment certainly keeps you on the edge. The wonderful, wacky, and widely diverse wildlife I encountered included weird fish and frogs, spiders, scorpions, water snake, rodents and all kinds of lizards - including a 'flying lizard' that flew right past my head onto a tree (very cool). Beautiful butterflies, like fragile flying flowers stopping now and then for a drink of nectar. Melodious bird calls wafting out of the tree canopies, and the ear-splitting din of an impressive array of exotic insects. What an amazing place!  

Far into the jungle I arrived at a lovely waterfall on one of the rivers. However, I stopped to and rest and enjoy the scenery, a swarm of bees attrac ted by my sweat or blood seemed besot ted with me, buzzing around like a rip-saw, so I had to make a hasty retreat!  

During the hike I acquired some blood sucking leeches - probably at one of the many river crossings. Some dropped off after their fill, and others I scrapped off (ouch)! Nasty little fellows that inject you with an anti-coagulant to keep the blood flowing - making the wound appear a lot worse than it actually is.  

There is a theory that leeches make great pets. They require little space, make great traveling companions, bond closely with their owner, and need only one feeding every 6-12 months to stay healthy and happy! Although I found myself quite 'attached' to them - they are certainly not at the top of MY pet list!  

The following day provided an encounter etched in my mind forever. While hiking along a path to an abandoned village, I was pulling off a leech and not paying close attention to the path before me. Suddenly I looked down and was absolutely terrified, as not more than a meter from my foot was about a four and a half foot menacing black cobra!  

Fortunately, this snake was not interes ted in me, and slowly slithered off into the brush. They say fear is 80% mental, and the other 20% is in your head - well I can tell you this experience left me playing castanets with my knees!  

After returning to camp and excitingly describing this snake to the guide, I was informed that I had been ever so lucky, as it sounded like the spitting cobra. Apparently they are one of the most aggressive and deadly snakes around, and can spit venom into the eyes of their prey from up to eight feet away with lethal accuracy. Then, after blinding their target, they close in and administer the fatal strike. Gives me a shiver when I think of that close call - and what might have been!  

With enough adventure to last a little while, I left the jungle and headed back to civilization - or so I thought. Next up was the island of Ko Samui - another example of a once idyllic island turned into a cesspool from the ravages of tourism. Sleazy characters, drunk punks, noisy bars, needles and beer caps on the beach, fat Europeans with more rolls than a bakery shop, and a very heavy sex trade with hookers everywhere. In fact, the last day I was there while out on my run between 6 and 7 am I got propositioned 3 times, and then again a 4th time when I went for breakfast!  

Driving in Thailand seems truly Neanderthal. They seem to have grasped the concept of pushing the gas peddle right to the floor - but as of yet have not come to grips with the function of the brakes. It makes for a "white knuckle" special when they spend equal times on both sides of the road, as they look to pass anything that moves - no matter when or where! Put me back in the jungle anytime!  

Traveled back to Krabi and once again saw my 'walking fish', which I learned can also jump. I know you're thinking this is a bunch of carp crap, but it's true! They have gills to breathe while in the water, and while on land they absorb oxygen through their skin. This strange evolutionary hybrid called a mud scipper, gives credence to the theory that we too may have evolved from the sea.  

From here it was back to Phi Phi Island to wait for Christine , Richard & Tyea who joined me for the second month of travels. Here, I hooked up with Jack and Brannan from Victoria for a whale of a seafood dinner with huge prawns, mahi-mahi, squid, etc. Over way too many rums we discussed the walking fish of Krabi, which they had also seen. The fish tail Jack told me was that they saw one of the fish get out of a car it was driving, and so they tried to take him for a drink. Apparently the bartender knew the fish and wouldn't serve him - seems he always turns into a slimy drunk after a couple of Mekong rums, and has been known to get into fishticuffs if his bill comes to over a fin!  

One has to wonder - first it's flying fish, then it's walking fish - what the hell, don't fish just swim anymore?  

Christine and I enjoyed a great boat trip that included dolphins racing the boat in front of the bow, and snorkeling stops with awesome coral and fabu lou s fish of every imaginable color. Ao Nang, known for it's dramatic limestone crags was our next stop. Here we enjoyed a few lazy days and some more island hopping including a trip to Railay. Finally we returned to Phuket for two nights before getting a flight out of Thailand .  

On the last night, while strolling about after dinner, we went up a stairway, and accidentally stumbled into a brothel! As we ass-ended the stairs the bevy of beauties stood up showing their stuff and flashing perfect white teeth. Seconds later as the ladies behind us became apparent the 1000 watt smiles not only dimmed - they were completely extinguished. The old mamasan in charge of the girls star ted muttering some gibberish which didn't seem exactly friendly! Alas, maybe it's just as well that it's our last night here.  

A short flight and we were in our old stomping grounds of Bali . I won't go on about Bali, since the month here was mainly work rela ted for me, and also because I'm sure you have all heard me speak of Bali many times before. However, I will mention two most interesting occurrences.  

This time we happened to be in Bali for the sacred holiday of Nyepi "Day of Silence" that happens every 210 days, which is a Balinese year. On the actual day of Nyepi, about 1000 police are deployed to ensure nobody is out on the streets, no lights are showing, and that nobody is making any noise. Even the airport is shut down. The belief is that evil spirits will not be able to find a dark and silent island, and those that are there will leave.  

When Christine tried to order a fruit juice for breakfast, she was told that was not possible - as the noise of the blender might alert the evil spirits! On the night after Nyepi there is a parade of giant "Ohgo-Ohgos" in the streets. These are 3 to 6 meter high frightening looking demon effigies, made of wood, styrofoam, and bamboo - and they symbolize temptation and evil spirits in people's lives. They are strapped to large bamboo platforms then carried and gyra ted through the streets in torch-lit parades. There is a very festive atmosphere, as they slowly make their way to a beach where the elaborate effigies are set on fire just before the stroke of midnight. - a ritual to cast away the evil spirits. A most interesting couple of days.  

We have had many interesting experiences over the last couple of months - but none more vivid than when we witnessed a thief killed by a group right before our eyes.  

Only during the last few trips to Bali did we become aware of this ritual, which is called "maling". This means thief. Apparently most of the crime in Bali is caused by people who have come mainly from the islands of Java and Sumatra . They come looking for work but when none is to be found, they sometimes resort to stealing from the tourists in Bali .

The Balinese believe that Bali must remain a safe haven for the tourists, because without their money businesses will close - and they will not have any money to buy their staple rice. The Balinese perceive the police system slow and cumbersome, so they take matters into their own hands. When a robbery is witnessed, the people scream "MALING" - and the thief is chased by everyone, and if caught, they are immediately and savagely beaten to death on the spot.  

It is one thing to hear about this street justice - but entirely different to actually see it happen right in front of you! I will spare you the gory details, but it was a surreal experience that left us both quite shaken. Bali is like a rose, it has many beautiful petals - but it also has some thorns!  

This was a very difficult month in Bali because not only was most of the time spent on the importing business, but also because I was quite sick the entire time there with a bug (later diagnosed as Moraxcella). Obviously I didn't drink enough rum to wipe out the nasty bugs terrorizing my system!).  

We made a brief stop in Singapore , with a great visit to the Night Safari, before the long flight home.  

This trip was an opportunity to see both some of the best, and some of the worst of both countries. As usual, the trip provided a little adventure, and many special memories that will last a lifetime. One thing about travel in third world countries, is that it sure makes one appreciate the lifestyle we have here in good old Victoria .