“Sir, please raise your hands”, “please turn around”, “Sir, please remove your belt”, “Please sit down in this chair, and remove your shoes”, “Please raise your feet in the air”. Well, I gotta tell you, at this point I’m wishing I didn’t have such clean socks on for the m!

Satisfying the mselves, that I probably wasn’t intending to hijack the plane or blow it up, we are finally allowed to board. We are hoping this is not an omen of the trip to come.

Sat – July 10

After an overnight in Seattle , we have an early flight to LA and the n on to Manzanillo Mexico .  Inside the airport in Mexico while waiting to retrieve our bags, we notice several crabs, obviously with the ir GPS messed up, crawling about the tiled floors.  We collect the bags and take the m to customs, and is typical you have to push a button for the m. If the light is green – you proceed, if it is red – you must open all bags for inspection.

I push and the co lou r is red. “Senior, please put bags on table and open”. I have no problem with this, unless of course the guy has any ideas about scooping my expensive rum!  He wants to know about the strange looking little champagne bottles we have brought along for our anniversary.  No worries, after snooping about to see what o the r items the gringos have, we are cleared. 

On to the taxi stand for a ride into Melaque where I ask if he will take US dollars. “Si Senior – but maybe you like to trade for your watch and glasses?”. I thank him for his offer, but tell him to take the $30 and give us a ticket. We pile into a decrepit mound of metal with a shattered windshield, and our non English speaking driver “Senior Leadfoot” takes us on a ‘brisk’ highway ride. We the n turn off onto some pot holed dirt roads and wind through a couple of very forgettable barrios before ending up at the village of Melaque.

Met with Nancy & Richard, the owners of ‘La Paloma’ (our accommodation) and are given a quick tour of the place, and learn that we are the only guests. Our suite is the penthouse and is self contained and offers two large decks overlooking the ocean and swimming pool, large palapa, BBQ, exercise bike, hammock, and all the amenities.

Situa ted at opposite ends of a 3 km beach Melaque and Barra are a little piece of paradise along Mexicos wild Pacific coast. Melaque is a sleepy and little town that takes you back to an olden day Mexico .  There is not a lot to do – which of course was just the point. We came here to relax for a week. It is a spectacular setting at one end of a huge crescent shaped sandy beach.

Many of the town restaurants are now closed for this low season, and even those that remain open are emptier than a politician’s campaign promise.  We kinda stand out like a trout in a bathtub – but that’s just fine by us. The whole week we will see only one o the r ‘gringo’ tourist couple.

The Melaque philosophy is pos ted in our studio and reads:

It is not the corporations

Or the million dollar deals

It’s margaritas, fired sunsets

And simple taco meals.

It is not the fancy clo the s

The cell phones or the cars.

It’s forgetting real life

Kicking back beneath the stars.

It is not planning tomorrow

For it may never come

It is not regretting yesterday

For it’s already done.

The Melaque mantra is music,

Laughter, friends and play

Then lying in the hammock

Watching the palm trees sway.

 

 

A walkabout to purchase some water and food, and of course a heavy supply of Coronas and limes. Then down to the beach for a fabu lou s dinner at Restaurante Maya which is owned by a Canadian woman. The cook Peg, was the head chef at Delilah’s in Vancouver , and the lady can cook!  Lovely ambiance in spectacular setting with gentle jazz music, a table out over the sand, and  the waves thundering in just a few meters away.  Dinner was shark, covered in almonds which was just superb. Tough place to beat if you’re in the mood for food.

After dinner we take a walk into town to the Jardin, which is the central square. It’s Saturday night and the re is a ritual where the teenage boys come in hopes of meeting young ladies. The girls with clo the s so tight, it looks like the y are pain ted on, come to strut the ir butt, with the ir overly protective grandmo the rs lurking not far behind the behinds. We watch the comical custom, as the bells from the multi-story clock tower chime in the new hour.

Sun – July 11

Early am run along the beach in deep sand that taxes both the heart and lungs. Draw some quizzical looks along the way, as I think most Mexicans probably don’t run unless being chased.

Walk down the long beach to the next town of Barra de Navidad where we poked around a few shops, the n had a vicious delicious lunch of dorado and prawns at Velaros. Some pelicans swim up to check us out. What a comical looking bunch of fea the rs the y are, with wings like a 747, and eyes too close toge the r atop a preposterously bountiful bill.

Next we visi ted the massive Grand Bay Resort to check it’s potential for our anniversary dinner. Very plush but so massive it seemed to lack any real ambiance. As we returned to the dock at Barra we met a guy named Victor, and as we were talking we came up with a brilliant alternative plan for our anniversary dinner on Wed night. We board the dilapida ted local 4 peso bus back to Melaque.

The wea the r here is furnace hot so we indulge in happy hour with a few cold ‘barley sandwiches’ down at our gorgeous pool the n out for ano the r feast at the Maya.  

Mon – July 12

Up early to catch a ride with a crusty old Canuck, who now lives in Melaque, up to the pretty mountain town of Colima – about a 2 hour drive. Ray is taking in his truck for repair, and so we agree to meet him in several hours for a lift back home once his truck is ready. 

In town we have a couple of hysterical incidents of culture clash.

Our first stop is a department store to see if the y have an ATM. Inside I ask if anybody speaks English and the y call over a girl who can speak a ‘leetle beet’. I ask her if the y have an ATM machine, to which she replies “Si senior, please come”. So we follow her as she zig zags us through the store, past the ladies underwear etc.,  to the far corner and into the sporting goods section, where she proudly points to a large exercise machine and says “ATM machine”.

Befuddled, I chuckle and inform her that I need money not muscles, and pull out my bank card to show her. She gasps, and starts to apologize and when we start chuckling she too giggles and guffaws, as we follow her back to the front door where she points down the street to a money changers. As we leave she says “Thank you, for the rest of my life I won’t forget you and ATM machine.”

Now, walle ted with sufficient pesos, we embark on a walk about town, where surprise, surprise, Christine finds a pair of sandals she wants to buy. The price is 220 pesos, but being so used to bargaining in Asia , I decide it’s time to try my luck at a little negotiation.

Now in a town like this and Melaque where nobody speaks English, it’s almost like playing charades to get understood.  So, after trying several different words like discount etc. and getting nowhere, I go to plan B.  I take my finger and draw out on the wall 2 the n 0 the n ano the r 0 to show her 200.  

Without missing a beat the beautiful sales girl grabs my finger, and while holding onto it with both hands, she very slowly ‘draws’ over my 2 - 0 - 0  with her 2 - 2 - 0, cracking up all locals in the store. I had the best laugh, and was done like dinner – in fact, I think I would have paid over full price.  Ano the r memorable moment, plus we made a new little friend in Colima. Very cool!

We the n find a place for brekkie and try to figure out what the hell is on the menu. We ended up with bacon and eggs and some mushy beans OK. A little more strolling where ‘Ms. Shopalot’ buys a few more girlie things, the n we hook up with Ray.

On the way back, Ray decides to take us to the village of Comala and showed us an amazing illusion where the road appears to be going uphill, but in fact it is going down. I accuse him of having way too many tequilas – so he pops the truck in neutral, and sure enough the truck continues to go “up”!  Very strange spot, you have to see it to believe it.

Next is a lunch stop in the village where it’s a custom that when you order your drinks all the food you can eat is free! We order some brewskis, and sure enough we have about eight plates of unknown edibles. While we sit and sip strolling Maharachi bands serenade the patrons with a song.  

On the way back home we are blasting along the highway when a car two in front of us clips a motorcycle causing it to crash. I shout at Ray to stop so we don’t pile into the car in front of us, as he did not see the crash. Metal and bodies are somersaulting, and one of the helmets bounces along about 150’ feet from the crash – fortunately for the rider, his head was not in it!  A crowd ga the rs to sort it out, and Ray decides the re is enough help, so we should leave, ra the r than getting involved with the federalies.

Ray has to make a stop in Manzanillo to track down a guy who owes him some money. He finds the guy, gets his cash, and by about six pm we are safely back in Melaque – just enough time for a couple of cold ones, the n out for ano the r seafood supper.

 

Tue – July 13

Mark runs to Barra and back while Christine rides the stationary bike on the balcony watching the huge waves turning the surf into a frothing foam as the y crash down. As we eat breakfast we can hear the small trucks driving around town advertising the ir wares via a lou d speaker moun ted on the roof.  Most of the m like the trucks selling propane or water have some catchy little musical notes before the plug for the product. Kinda like a very lou d ice cream truck!

Went down to the beach where I had a very scary moment, as I decided to tackle the waves. I mistimed my dive and the full force of the wave snapped my body backwards and I thought for a moment I might have broken my back. Then I was tossed up onto the beach like a rag doll, with sand in every possible orifice! 

I had a few liquid painkillers, but still had a very sore neck, arm, and back. About an hour later as I’m hobbling around, the owner comes up to our suite to warn us that the re is a hurricane less than 40 miles off shore that is causing powerful waves, and that we should avoid going in the water. NOW she tells us! Ahhhh  timing is everything – is it not?

We bussed down to Barra for dinner, and stopped in at the Los Arcos bar for the ir happy hour. A good place to bend the elbow, and we acquit ted ourselves honorably. The pina coladas and strawberry margaritas slid down way too easily! Mmmmmmmm.

Wed – July 14^th – 20^th Anniversary

Start the day with a stroll/limp down the beach the n back through town observing the typical scenes of daily rural Mexican life. Past a outdoor fish market where the y’re slicing and dicing the ir daily catch with a bevy of hopeful cats sitting and waiting. We are the n passed by a bicycle with too cute little girls sitting in a box on the back fender. 

Breakfast with the butterflies. We are sitting on our balcony having brekkie when around 10 o’clock, we notice the sky all around us becoming thick with butterflies, all moving in the same direction. These lovely butterflies keep fluttering past us until around noon, when it’s like somebody suddenly turned off the tap. Not sure if it was from a hatch or some kind of migration, but the flyby on our anniversary was very cool indeed.

We sat the re with mouth’s ajar – what a stunning spectacle and how cool to have it happen on this very special date. But the day gets even better. The afternoon was spent perfecting the art of the loll, poolside – just floating about on air mattresses as the surf thunders in upon the shore a few sandy meters away.

Late afternoon we jump a taxi down to the town of Barra where we hook up with Captain Victor, who has made our special arrangements.  With the sun setting, we jump in his panga boat for a tour around the lagoon, and past bird island where all the egrets and pelicans roost at night. The trees are full of fea the red friends.

After a little more puttering about, we arrive at Colima island. This island is just off shore, and has a couple of delightful seaside restaurants which are closed because of the low season. However, several days before we had made all the arrangements with Captain Victor, who lives on the island, to have one of the restaurants open up for us.

He had taken our order of what we wan ted to eat (dorado and jumbo prawns) and made sure the restaurant had the m ready for us.  They have our table set complete with candle, and some lovely soft music wafting out of unseen speakers. Our table is about 4’ from the shore with the water lapping up gently beside us - delightful!

We’ve also had made arrangements to bring along some special Pipers champagne and Angostura 1919 Rum from Trinidad Tobago. The food arrives and it is the best we have ever tas ted – mmmmmmm, ano the r melt in your mouth moment. A long leisurely dinner in the perfect ambient setting.

 

I present Christine with a medal I had made up, for being married to me for 20 years and she is blown away (big brownie points J). We get up, and have ourselves a slow dance in the sand under the stars, and all is well with the world.

In due course we summon the captain to take us back to Barra. What a day – what a night - perfecto!  More euphoric memories to add to our collection.

Thurs – July 15

Morning walk down the beach to the marsh lands near Barra and look at all the bird life, herons, egrets, songbirds and a pair of boobies (I have always enjoyed watching ‘boobies on the beach’ J)

 

A lazy day poolside getting a face full of sun on ano the r golden day, and reading in the hammock.  Can you spell mellow?  Stopped in town tat a tiny one person real estate office, and the delightful Claudia told us of a new development at ano the r beach in Cuastecomantes, not far from town, asking if we would like to see it.

We said why no - and as we go out the door she hands me the keys to her brand new car. She’s had it less than 2 weeks and still not too sure of it because it is a standard. I get behind the wheel and off we go to check it out. Nice spot, but too many hassles owning real estate in Mexico .

Fri – July 16

Went fishing 6 miles off shore in a small panga fishing boat, but no fish due to the c lou dy wea the r. The only fish we had was the mullet tied to the end of our lines! The waves were fairly large and it was not all that comfortable so after a couple of hours we pack it in and head back to our penthouse.

For our last night in town we went back for some ‘lovin’ from the oven’ at the wonderful Restaurante Maya, where we eat on ‘our’ balcony out over the sand. As we sit and relax the re is some great music playing, and we watch the beach activity unfolding below us. A caballero gallops by on a big white stallion kicking up a rooster tail of sand.  A collage of mongrel dogs appear and disappear.  Frigate birds soar overhead. Pelicans skim the water before rising up for a kamikaze dive straight down into the sea in search of the ir swimming supper. Fruit sellers roam the sand with colorfully decora ted pineapple drinks or sliced mangoes balanced atop the ir skulls. Mexican families are frolicking at the sea shore. Very relaxing indeed.

Our food extraordinaire arrives at the table, and coincidentally so does the owners cute little pooch named “Itchy”  Isn’t that a great canine handle? He’s a real friendly fellow so he’s allowed to stay.  After the succulent seafood dinner is done, we finish off the meal with a piece of key lime pie, just as the sky pinkens up with the sun’s orb slowly sinking down over the majestic hills.

Ahhhhhhh the magic of Melaque.